Perception
by FiresideChild
Summary: An expoleration into the five senses. Erik percieves certain things in strange ways. Warnings: Character death, spoilers for X3 and FC, and if you squint and turn your head implied Cherik.


The human mind is a maze of thoughts and memories that we don't even know we have. The world around us is taken it and perceived in ways that we cannot comprehend. Our senses are the key to these hidden parts of us. Erik couldn't stand to be around certain things, he didn't know why, but sounds, smells, and even tastes could set him off. And other things made him giddier than a man his age should feel.

Sound- He hated this song. He couldn't tell you why, it was a simple jazzy tune. It had a slow tempo and nice lyrics. But he hated, no, Erik Lensherr loathed this song. If you asked almost anyone in the manor, it was because Erik hated all music that wasn't strictly classical. However, if you asked Charles, it was because of where he had first heard it. In Sebastian Shaw's (nee Klaus Schmidt) office in Auschwitz, it had played as he looked into those cold, manipulative eyes for the first time, as he'd struggled in horror to move that Reichsmark on the desk, as he'd watched his mother fall to the tiled floor, as he'd screamed in something more than anger, sadness, or fear. But Erik couldn't tell you why he hated "La Vie En Rose". Not for the life of him.

Taste- Having been raised in his Jewish faith, Erik understood the idea of eating kosher. Having grown into a man who ate when he could what he could, he didn't care to remind Charles that bacon was most assuredly NOT kosher. But to be honest, Erik just didn't care by then. Besides, bacon was delicious.

Touch- Erik liked to touch things. Not all things, just some. Silk ties, cashmere sweaters, strings of pearls; things that reminded him of his mother and father. He loved the soft smoothness in his hands, against his cheek. And he would close his eyes and think of the days before the ghetto, before the trains, before the camps. He would stand in the shower with the water beating down on his head like a torrent, seeking comfort in the warmth. Erik would say to others that he merely appreciated the finer things, but often it was something as simple as hot water that made him sigh contentedly.

Sight- Red poppies, Erik decided, were the single most wretched flora to ever grace the planet. They sat in great fields, like gaping wounds on the land, stretching out across the old battlefields. They were even the color of blood, he noticed grimly. He couldn't count how many times he'd watched someone die with a crop of those disgusting flowers nearby. Moira had once decorated the kitchen table with a small bouquet of poppies, not knowing of Erik's hate of the plant. Upon seeing the bright red flowers in a vase, he stood silently at the doorway. Unable to move or speak; caught in a memory. His mind far away, no one noticed his odd behavior until Alex made some snide remark about "being a better door than a window". Still, Erik did not move. Charles couldn't reach him, Erik's mind simply kept repeating the Kaddish. It took hours to bring him back to a conscious state. Moira was not allowed to bring anymore flowers into the house after that.

Smell- Charles always wore just the slightest amount of cologne; just a drop, really. But Erik, being Erik, could always tell it was there. So when Erik thought of Charles, he would smell modest, spicy cologne. Even after they parted ways, Erik's mind remembered that scent. When he would see Charles throughout the years, the metal manipulator would unconsciously seek its warm aroma. When the telepath was far from him the fragrance was depressing at best. Erik would sometimes catch a whiff of it on the street and find himself tracing it back to its owner, only to sigh softly when it wasn't Charles' face he saw.

And when Charles was finally, regrettably, and completely gone from this world Erik hated the smell. It would overpower his senses and choke him with old memories of chess and brandy and laughter. But, after Erik was given the cure (forcibly, might he add), he took to wearing it. He'd dab on a smidgeon as he left his flat before making his slow way to the park. It made him feel as if Charles really was there, instead of just a mirage his aging mind couldn't function without. It was New York City, no one would really care if an old Jew started talking to himself and moving pieces about on the chessboard like he were truly playing for two.

When Erik Lensherr died, it took three weeks for his landlord, a young man from Jersey, to find his file which contained a number for next of kin to give to the police. And when the X-Men finally did arrive to collect him, all they were given was a small tin urn with a name on the side. And, not knowing what to do with it, Hank McCoy took it and settled it in the ground near Charles' grave. No longer would Erik perceive anything.

Some notes on this story:

The Kaddish is a prayer found in Jewish worship. Its central idea is the magnification and sanctification of God's name. It is commonly said at funerals.

The song that played during Erik's first encounter with Shaw was indeed "La Vie En Rose" written by Edith Piaf in 1945 and came out as a single in 1947, which makes this a little historically inaccurate as Erik was hearing it three years before it even came out, but "c'est la vie".

Poppies grow at an alarming rate in some of the WWII battlefields in Europe; poppies symbolize eternal sleep and are the official flower connected with remembering dead soldiers and those lost during wars.


End file.
